Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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