yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
