My underwear smells like fireworks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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