would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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