I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize