tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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