Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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