Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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