It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
