"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize