Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
