bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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