Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dear god my vagina.
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