my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
