But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
