there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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