Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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