I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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