So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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