I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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