i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have fence marks all over my body
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
