Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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