Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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