No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
