She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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