he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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