Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
