hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
