How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
