i would punch a child for taco bell
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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