We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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