sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
birth control should be required to get into college
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
