I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize