and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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