im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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