i permit you to call me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize