its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize