Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize