After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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