is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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