Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
