And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
