Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
