Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize