He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
