Your mouth is God's brothel.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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