Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
this will be a night to untag.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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