That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
