quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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