im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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