god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
