While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
