I'm really into asian looking animals
i just google imaged poop.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
