Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
