I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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