u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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