I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
