I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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