i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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