The maid of honor just puked.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
