This house was built for laser tag.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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