Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
