i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
