I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
