sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
